The Next Chapter: Thoughts On Leaving Your Parents’ House
Whether you've been living at your parents' house since the end of college, the beginning of the pandemic, or forever, you've probably given some thought to making the leap and moving out on your own. While staying at home can feel convenient, finding and creating a space of your own is crucial to building a solid foundation for the next chapter of your life.
If you've clicked on this blog, you've already taken the first step towards discovering that new home and becoming a more independent person. Here's what to do next.
Pause and Reflect
We've all gotten excited about the possibility of leaving home and starting a new journey at one time or another. You're probably feeling this excitement and urgency right now. But before you make any major decisions, it's essential to pause and reflect upon where you are in your life and whether you're fully prepared to take the leap.
Ask yourself why you're currently living at home, whether you want to move to a completely new state or just a new neighborhood, and what you plan to do with your newfound independence. Moving mindfully is more important than moving suddenly. Even if you're set on the idea of moving away from home, are you ready to move now? Or, depending on where you're planning to move, would it be best to wait for a year and prepare for the many shifts in the meantime?
Also, make sure to ask yourself why you want to move out. Are you doing it because you think you should, or are you doing it out of a feeling of energetic ambition and necessity? If you're doing it because you think you should, or because you think other people think you should, do you agree that you should, and if so, why? What's happened in the past few months that's made this next step feel urgent? Keeping all these questions in mind will help you begin to plan for your new life, whenever you're ready to embark upon it. By grounding you in a solid understanding of your goals, they'll give you a sense of confidence, vision, and determination as you look at the horizon in front of you.
Get Excited About Next Year
If you've decided that now really is the time, congrats! You've got an amazing few months ahead of you. And even if you're thrilled about your decision, it's important to remember to look even further into the future and work towards larger, more distant goals to accomplish.
Developing hopes and dreams for what you'll do or will have accomplished by the end of next year will keep you focused during the slower moments of the moving process. They'll also remind you of why you're taking this difficult step forward. What will your new place look like? Where will you be in your career by that time? Will you be thinking about marriage, or even starting a family? When you imagine what's possible outside your parents' house, life begins to open up in an incredibly inspiring way. When you start a life and home of your own, everything begins to feel more possible. You can become the person you've always wanted to become and achieve everything you've always dreamed of achieving. When you move out, you take on responsibility for your future, and that sense of control is a game changer.
Once you've started to get excited about the next year or so, you'll find that your horizon might be getting grander and grander. This is fantastic! Now you're dreaming not only about moving out of your parents' house but also about taking your life, hobbies, and career into a new and more challenging direction. Looking deep into the future will motivate you to make the best possible use of this opportunity for change.
Embrace Your Team
Though it might seem somewhat counterintuitive, it's essential to remember that your parents can be key collaborators in this transition. You've been living with them for a while, and because they're your parents, they know you and what you'll need to feel comfortable in your new place better than anyone! Remember that moving out of your parents' house doesn't mean you'll never talk to them again. Some find that moving away can even strengthen their relationships with their parents because they're able to interact on more level terms with them. So once you're prepared and committed to start the move-out process, check in with your parents and get them involved.
Parents are way wiser than we tend to give them credit for. They had parents, too, and they moved away from home at some point in their lives. Ask them what it was like for them to move on to a new place when they were around your age. Hearing their perspectives can broaden your own and remind you that even though you're becoming more independent, you're not alone. Your parents, no matter how close you are with them, are always on your team. They'll be thrilled to be called upon for any pointers you're hoping for.
When you embrace your team, you convey to your parents that you're embarking upon an evolution, not a separation. You're growing into your own person, not leaving your world behind. In bringing up the move with your parents, explain your reasons and ambitions in detail. That way, they'll immediately feel like an essential part of your next chapter, not just a fixture in your childhood.